This morning we headed to church. Because we aren't the best on attendance, we didn't know that the service had started at 10:00 in stead of the usual 10:45. It was a special service celebrating Grace Memorial's 9th anniversary. We ended up going to Oakwood. It was divine intervention. The service was wonderful. Every time I have been to a service at Oakwood I have cried. The sermons always touch me so deeply. Today was a sermon that I needed to hear.
Lately I have been thinking about my faith. The idea of a drive through Jesus came to mind. Throughout my life, that is how I have treated my faith. As in a drive through, I go through, order what I need while hoping the order is right, and go about my merry way. I can always have a sit down dinner but often times I am in a hurry and want something quick.
I am not proud to say.... that is how my relationship with Jesus has become. When I am in need of something.... because of worry or what have you.... I quickly have a talk with Jesus. For example..... on the plane ride to and from Chicago.... I was doing some serious praying.... because I was fearful and anxious.
I am so immature in my faith. But, how does mature faith come? What is mature faith and how do you know if you have it? I have always envied those with steadfast faith. I have witnessed others go through such tragic times. Their faith is what kept them going. It has always intrigued me.
Recently I was talking to a friend about faith and how I hated that I always question things. I always wonder..... if it is this way then why.... or if God cared then why...... or how could God really do..... you name it. I have always been a questioner, whether I question my faith or authority. This friend has a strong faith and like me, is a very spiritual person. She admitted that she too questions things. This of course made me feel better.
My goal is to work on strengthening my faith and my relationship with the Lord. I hope to develop a faith that will be an example for my children. My husband has an amazing faith. I love and admire that about him. Maybe I need to start taking lessons from him.